We Attract What We Are: Character, Leadership, and the Trump Effect

There’s a principle that shows up in everything from ancient proverbs to modern psychology: who we are determines what we attract.

We don’t live in a vacuum.

Our character—our deepest habits, beliefs, values, and choices—inevitably spills out into the world. The wisdom of Jesus suggests the heart is the driver of how we live, for good, and ill.

“For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.” -Mark 7:21-22

In the same orbit, another Scripture suggests what we “sow”, or what we offer into the world, will come back as either abundance, or scarcity:

“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.” - 2 Corinthians 9:6

The heart is the center of our actions, will, and desires. Depending on what is swirling on inside the heart will determine how our lives are lived. Our inner world will also determine the character we posses, and the people we attract into our world.

Over time, this inner world of heart, soul, and desire shape the people we associate with, the joy we experience, and the lives we build. This also includes the collection of individuals forming communities with the same inner world pulsating into the world for good and ill.
Call it a spiritual principle. Cause and effect. Regardless of the ways we define these realities, human history and experience suggest this principle can't be outrun.

Nowhere is this more visible—or more concerning—than in U.S. politics. Our politics at their base level require ordering cities, states, and a country by competent leaders seeking the flourishing of all people. A more robust definition says:

“Originally, politics meant the activities and processes related to governing the collective affairs of a community, especially in the context of the city-state. Its primary purpose is to facilitate collective decision-making, resolve conflicts, and allocate resources in a way that enables societies to achieve goals and maintain order—ultimately aiming to advance the common good or welfare of the community.”

The politics of a governing body is to consider the collective affairs of a community, consider the decision-making process, provide resources for a thriving republic, and provide protection and opportunities for wealth and the basic needs of communities being met.

Of course, governments can't meet all the needs of a country, and it will require the private sector, individuals, faith-based organizations, nonprofit, and for-profit institutions for the wellbeing of all people.

But the question is who will lead the people?

The ancient philosophers of the Greek world often served as politicians because they contemplated often on what makes for a good life. These thinkers considered what is required for a moral and just society. And, these first philosopher-politicians wondered how the common good of all people could be enhanced?

For the last 250 years in America, we assumed the character of our leaders doesn't just impact their personal lives, but sets the tone for an entire nation, city, or township. By no means does this suggest every elected official has risen to the heights of noble character. Many public servants have failed miserably.

In fact, we've seen in the last thirty years (or so), the rise of smear campaigns in the media. The character of people running for public office attacked from all sides. Despite many of these campaigns going too far, the point is obvious: character matters, and the people running our government should be men and women of decency because where the heart is, your behavior will follow.

A striking negative example of this principle in action is the presidency of Donald J. Trump. Not only once, but twice. Regardless of where you land politically, the patterns surrounding Trump’s leadership are impossible to ignore. The people he attracts, the scandals that follow, and the division he creates seem to echo back to one central truth: we attract what we are.

Fun fact: Since 1973, Donald Trump has taken part personally, and through his businesses, in 4000 court cases. This excludes being impeached twice, a dozen court cases ongoing while in office, more waiting for him when he’s out of office, and also Trump being convicted of 34 counts of business fraud, and liable for sexual abuse and defamation.

We attract what we are.

The Inner Shapes the Outer

Before looking specifically at Trump, it’s worth considering how this principle works more broadly. We often talk about success as if it’s based on skills, luck, or connections. But if we examine closer, long-term outcomes reflect something deeper — character.

A person who values honesty builds trust. The person driven by fear often invites conflict. A person of integrity inspires integrity in others. Someone bent on service first attracts people who don’t crave the stage.

This isn’t just philosophy. Business leadership experts like Jim Collins (Good to Great) have pointed out that the most effective leaders are often the most humble and disciplined. They create sustainable cultures because their values are consistent and trustworthy.

Meanwhile, toxic leaders create toxic environments. People mirror their leaders. Values—or the lack of them—trickle down. You can’t escape it.

We attract what we are.

Trump’s Track Record

Donald Trump didn’t arrive in the White House out of nowhere. He came with decades of public history: lawsuits, bankruptcies, accusations of fraud, inflammatory rhetoric, racist behavior, conflicting views on policy, a Democrat who conveniently shifted to Republican to get elected, and a media persona birthed out of the womb of reality TV and fame, and less local politics.

Trump’s rise to power was fueled less by climbing the local ladder of the New York political scene, and more by branding, bravado, and constant controversy. President Trump fooled the American people into thinking he was some business genius who could take America to greater heights, and Make America Great Again (which he stole from Ronald Regan).

Some Americans celebrated Trump with his refreshing honesty. Others lamented Trump as dangerous and recklessness. Trump made a public comment about murdering someone on 5th Avenue, and still getting elected. He's mocked the disabled, American vets, and belittled his political opponents at every turn.

Regardless if you voted for Trump or not. His actions of the past aren't neutral. They've appeared in the present. Trump brought a particular energy into the political arena—a pattern of rule-breaking, bending the truth, and playing by his own set of standards.

That pattern didn’t go away when he took office. It intensified.

Criminality Attracts Criminality

Over the course of Trump’s presidency and post-presidency, we saw a revolving door of ethically questionable associates. And, as of this writing, 100 days into Trump 2.0, nothing is changed. Trump sides with evil dictators like Putin, receives gifts from Middle Eastern terrorists, and fills his cabinet with questionable people with questionable pasts. The only requirement is whether you will kiss the ring of the king, and never question his authority.

Trump 1.0 saw several top aides and advisors indicted or convicted of crimes—Michael Cohen (Trump’s former lawyer), Paul Manafort (former campaign chairman), Steve Bannon, Roger Stone, and more. These weren’t fringe players. They were central figures in Trump’s circle. Time will tell of what crimes will be told with the crew around Trump 2.0.

We attract who we are.

These are not isolated events. They form a pattern. When a leader shows disregard for ethical norms, it invites others to do the same. When someone bends rules to protect themselves, they attract allies who do the same—until corruption becomes a kind of gravity pulling everyone in.

When someone projects a persona of innocence, purity, and righteousness — while calling every political opponent liars, evil, incompetent, and criminals you see the writing on the wall.

We attract who we are and project what we are not.

The Culture of a Leader

I did not vote for Trump in any election, and it mostly had more to do with his past. Also because both primary parties have an identity crisis and don't have a consistent philosophy of governance. Trump has never been a man of integrity and character. One of the more godless President’s in American history.

In my work of coaching leaders, I've found the past actions of people tend to surface in the future. Jerks, in the past, are most likely jerks in the future. Nothing in his rhetoric or actions suggested Trump is a man concerned with the good of Americans. Donald has always been about Donald and his empire. This is public knowledge, and not debatable.

Regardless of my opinions on Trump's past, leadership is not only about policy or promises. It’s about the culture you create. When a leader leads through fear, ego, Daddy-wounds, or division, that becomes the atmosphere others breathe. We’ve seen this clearly in how political discourse in the U.S. has changed.

Under Trump, insults became standard. Conspiracy theories given center stage. Lies the norm with no need to fact check. Journalists became “enemies of the people.” Protesters demonized. Even long-standing democratic norms, like accepting election results, were undermined.

This isn’t only about Trump’s personal behavior. It’s about the tone he set—and how that tone echoed through millions of followers, elected officials, and institutions. I always believed the President, at a minimum, should be a person who cares about all American people, not a select few. They should work with all sides of the aisle to ensure America thrives, solves problems facing the people, and also takes responsibility in forming alliances with global partners for a more safe and just world.

In a romantic way, I always believed the President, albeit flawed, should inspire our children and grandchildren, to serve and lead and dream of making a difference for good in the world.

We live in a democratic society. We can vote for whoever we like, we can have whacky opinions, and speak them according to the first amendment. 77 million people voted for Trump, believing he was the man for the job. 75 million people did not, and another 20+ million sat out the election. This is what makes America great.

What also makes American democracy great when it works is we can disagree. People can speak up when the President does, says, and makes policies that harm others, or tanks the economy. Why? Trump works for the people of America. He is a public servant for all of Americans regardless of how you voted. He is held account to this noble office.

But, using Trump as an example, it raises hard questions. What kind of character are we empowering when we choose our leaders? Does character even matter any more?

Why This Matters to All of Us?

It’s easy to make this about Trump alone. But that misses the point. Trump is low hanging fruit because of the chaos that follows him around. We’d be foolish to not see the leadership vacuum of people of character missing from all our institutions. Set politics aside.

My concern for the last ten years of Trump is what he represents. What he attracts, and what permission he gives to the next generation of leaders.

What we see in the Trump presidency is a mirror—one that reflects our cultural tolerance for certain behaviors. When character doesn’t matter in leadership, everything else eventually erodes: trust, stability, accountability, and truth itself. History is not kind on this one.

This principle doesn’t apply only to presidents. It applies to all of us.

The company we keep, the choices we make, the habits we cultivate—they’re not private matters. They shape our lives. These choices create the cultures of our homes, work places, institutions, and communities. If we’re always surrounded by drama, maybe it’s time to look at what we’re attracting. If our workplace is toxic, maybe we’re tolerating or enabling the wrong things.

If the only friends we keep vote like us, look like us, and watch and read the same stuff we do — this is guaranteed to stunt our growth spiritually, socially, intellectually, and emotionally.

We often think we can separate who we are from what happens around us. But in the long run, that’s a myth. Who we are always leaves a trail.

We reap what we sow.

Integrity Creates a Different Future

The good news is that the same principle works in the other direction. Just as chaos attracts chaos, integrity attracts stability. Leaders who operate with transparency, humility, and truth-telling often foster healthy, innovative, resilient environments.

These are the people who admit mistakes, seek wise counsel, and act in the long-term interest of others.

It may not make for viral headlines. It may not energize a base with slogans and anger. But it does something far more important: it builds trust. And trust is the foundation of any lasting system—political, spiritual, personal, or relational.

Sadly, for too long, we assume because someone has a title, or is given a role of authority or leadership, that they’ve proven to be people of character. The title often outpaces the fruit of character.

Nobody is going to remember your title, but they will remember if you cared. How you lived, and what it was like to be in your presence.

Character lasts, titles will blow away in the wind of time.

The People We Become

Trump’s presidency is one example—an extreme and high-stakes example—of how a person’s inner life attracts outer consequences. But the real takeaway is not political.

It’s personal.

What kind of people are we becoming? What values are we nurturing? What kind of outcomes do we keep seeing in our lives—and what do those outcomes say about us?

Whether we’re leading a nation, a company, a family, or simply our own lives, one truth remains: we attract what we are.

And if we want better outcomes—in politics, in culture, in community—we’ll have to start with practices that develop mature character.